Too Cute Tuesday

Wow, wow, wow! What an absolutely amazing morning!

First up, a local magazine wants to publish my rant about formula. I have absolutely no clue how they came across my blog, but it amazes me that someone wants to actually put my words into print. Actually, nix that. It amazes me that people even read my blog. I don’t consider myself a writer, but it’s absolutely the best feeling to be able to express yourself in words that others want to read. The funny thing is, I really dislike my writing style (maybe because I’m married to a “real” writer) yet I’ve only received glowing feedback. Anyways, the details are still being hashed out and I’m not going to hold my breath, but how cool would it be if this thing actually happened? One article could lead to two, then to three, and who knows… maybe another magazine, then another. Maybe even an actual column. (FYI, magazine writing pay completely sucks. But, as of now, I’m writing for free and anything is more than nothing. Plus, I could spew my very important opinions at thousands of people.)

Next is Harper’s Birth Video. I originally uploaded it to youtube, and it had more than 5,000 hits in the first day it was up. Okay, so 5,000 views doesn’t seem like much when you consider that Evolution of Dance has like 150 million hits, but it’s about 4,950 more views than I expected. In fact, several birthing websites have contacted me to get permission to repost the video on their sites. If even one person watches Harper’s birth and contemplates going natural instead of automatically opting for the standard drugged up hospital delivery, I’ve done what I intended to do.

I have to admit, I was really nervous about sharing that video with the general public. I mean, nobody (except maybe Heidi Klum) looks good during childbirth. Hell, I’m afraid to post my very unflattering P90X pictures over at KUrunner. Also, I’m having a baby… on a toilet. How many of you have watched some show on TLC and thought the woman who said, “Well, I didn’t know I was having a baby!” was an idiot? (Trust me, had I realized Harps was coming, I would have gone someplace slightly less embarrassing.) So, I was a bit scared when I logged onto youtube and had an inbox full of HUNDREDS of messages. Thankfully, most of them were good — thanking me for posting it and telling me how inspiring it was. I even got a few questions about natural birth. Of course, I did get a couple that were along the lines of, “You idiot, you had your baby in a toilet.” I even had one admonish me for “glamorizing unassisted home births.”

A. Yes, I had an unassisted home birth, but it wasn’t planned and I would never willingly do it again.  (I mean, unassisted.  If I have a home birth, there will be a midwife there.)

B. Glamorizing? Um, what part of that video was glamorous in any sense of the world?  Maybe I just look that awesome during labor that everyone wants to copy me?

Overall though, I’m pretty happy with the reactions I’ve gotten from both my friends and strangers about Harper’s video and my writing.

And now, just because she’s so darned cute, I leave you with this.

Harper’s Birth Video

After much consideration, I’ve decided to post Harper’s birth video online for all the world to see.  I absolutely hate watching the “educational” birth shows on television, but everything is blurred out so you can’t actually see anything.  So, I figured, if I’m not willing to post my vagina on youtube, I can’t complain about Discovery Health.


If you remember Harper’s birth story, she arrived by surprise at home after a quick labor.  We were planning a natural birth using the Bradley method, but we really didn’t get to use many of the techniques because of the short labor.  We did get our natural birth, though!


Ok, before you actually watch the video, realize that it does involve a tiny person coming out of my body; therefore, there is nudity and lots of gross-looking fluid stuff.  If you are squeamish or don’t want to see the vagina of a 9 month pregnant woman, you probably shouldn’t click play.  Also, the video was recorded by Kaelin and I’m sideways for the first half.


Without further ado…

Welcome to My Pity Party

I have to admit, I’m feeling a bit down in the dumps today.  I’m not really sure how to describe it though.  I don’t know; maybe I just need some chocolate.

I hate this town.  I hate that I’m 10+ hours away from all of my friends and family.  I hate that I don’t know where we’ll be in 6 months.  I hate all the stupid websites I’m dealing with and all the stupid technical errors that I have no clue how to fix.  I hate my dog and all of his barking.  I hate that I’m the only one in this house who knows how to put laundry away.  I hate that I’m too lazy to workout.  I hate that it’s almost swimsuit season.  I hate the effort it would take for me to go to the market and get some bananas.  I hate this pollen.  I hate the stupid guy who thinks it’s fun to drive around the block in his Honda playing Big Pimpin’ on full base.  Oh, and I hate my husband.

Maybe not hate, but I’m feeling very annoyed with Jason.  See if this makes sense to you — normally, he’s required to work 12 hour days.  If you are doing well enough with training, they give you “reduced hours” meaning you get to work 4 hours less a week.  You could go home an hour early for 4 days or 4 hours early on one day.  Make sense?  Well, Jason’s on reduced hours this week, but instead of coming home an hour early, he’s chosen to work 14 hour days.  For instance, yesterday he left the house at 4:45 AM and didn’t get home until after 7:00.  He says he has to put in extra time to continue to do well enough to get reduced hours.  But what’s the point in having reduced hours if you’re just going to work more hours anyways?  He says him leaving for work two hours early doesn’t effect us because we are still asleep, but when he falls asleep two hours earlier than usual, it does have an afffect.  He’s even mentioned working this weekend so that he can have reduced hours during the week.

I know that I’m just bitching over a couple of hours here, but I’m frustrated.  When he goes out to sea, I’m not going to see him for 6-10 months at all.  I mean, he’s on shore duty right now.  Is it wrong for me to want to see him every night?

Oh, and get this.  Last night, he passes out and I’m not sure what sort of dream he was having, but it definitely wasn’t my name he was saying.  I resisted the urge to put a pillow over his face, but only because I know you can’t control dreams.  But seriously!?!

Maybe this needs a little bit of backstory.  At prototype, it’s usually easier to pair up with another sailor and work together on checkouts.  He prefers to work with women because, sadly to say, it’s easier for girls to get checkouts.  He’s never had a problem coming home and talking to me about his partner whether it’s a girl or a guy.  Well, earlier this week, he was telling me about his day and kept saying “we.”  So, I asked him who he was working with.

Deer in the headlights.

After a moment of silence, I asked him again.  “Oh, nobody important.  Just some person,” was his answer. Strange.  That’s not usually the response I get.  After a couple minutes of prodding, he finally tells me that it was just some girl, then changes topics.  At this point, I’m getting curious because he’s acting all shady, but everytime I bring up his day, he ignores me.  Finally, as we are getting ready for bed, I asked if he was acting weird because he was attracted to her.  Silence.  I ask him again and he very impatiently responds, “No.  Of course not.  Not really.”

I want to clarify here, that even if he had said yes and that she was the hottest chick ever, I’d be okay with that.  It’s not like I haven’t been attracted to another guy in the last 4 years and I’m pretty sure I’d leave him if Taylor Lautner came into the picture.  (Team Jacob FTW!)

Anyways, as I’m up feeding his child at 4 in the morning, he tells me all this sweet stuff about him being committed to me, etc.  Up until this point, nothing bad had even crossed my mind, but things are starting to sound an awful lot like they did when I was with Brandon.  I know it’s not fair to Jason, but once you’ve been cheated on, it’s always there.  You lose your faith in guys not to be complete douches.  I trust Jason 100%.  (Plus, he’s too afraid of me to cheat.  He’s not certain whether I would literally kill him, but he knows I would leave without any hesistation.)

He’s just been acting strange this week.

Add to this odd behavior the dream and working extra hours and now I’m wondering why exactly he is spending all this time at work instead of with his family.  I know that I am all shades of awesome and he’d be stupid to think otherwise, but maybe he is attracted to this girl — and not just in a she’s hot sort of way.

*sigh*

Or maybe I’m just being incredibly neurotic.  I’m sleep deprived.  I see my husband less than 3 hours a day and most of those hours are spent talking about work.  I have a shitty-ass ex-husband who has ruined my faith in human beings.

Or maybe Jason just forgot to take the trash out this morning (for the 50 billionth time) and I’m looking to pick a fight.

Either way, he better bring home some chocolate.

Stupid Person Alert

Notice anything strange?

I’m waiting at the far end of the parking lot when this idiot, despite the AMPLE parking on either side of her, turns off her car and gets out.  Because, you know, it would have taken an extra 2 seconds to pull into a parking spot.  Not only did she block the lane, she blocked 6 parking spots.  The great thing was, after she picked up her kid, she sat in her car talking on her phone for 15 minutes before leaving.  I know this because another car decided to park to the left of her making it impossible for anyone to leave.  I’m guessing she didn’t care because as the cars piled up behind her, she just sat there talking.

Yeah.

My Weekly Rant

This week’s topic… FORMULA FEEDING.

It’s common knowledge that “breast is best.”  The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends breastfeeding exclusively for at least 6 months.  The World Health Organization goes even further and recommends nursing for two years.  Yet, only 13.6% of moms are still exclusively breastfeeding at 6 months.  I imagine that the percentage at two years is practically nonexistent.

Almost everything you read will talk about how AMAZING breastfeeding is for you and your baby.  But it’s not true; breast is not best.  Breast is normal.  Breast milk is what babies have eaten for thousands and thousands of years.  Breast milk is fine; formula is sub-par.  Articles will say to breastfeed your baby but don’t worry about it too much if you don’t breastfeed.  If it didn’t matter whether your baby was breastfed or formula fed, why would there be tons and tons of studies proving otherwise?

I’ll admit it.  I only breastfed Kaelin for six months.  Why did I stop?  Honestly, it was because I was selfish.  I was tired of dealing with nightly feedings.  I was annoyed at having my breasts leak in the middle of the grocery store.  I got free formula from WIC.  But above all else, I quit breastfeeding because everyone told me that “formula is just fine.”

Now, almost 9 years later, I realize what a load of crap that is.

Now, before you start in with your buts and what ifs, I understand that there are times when a baby has to be formula fed.  I know several moms who have had various breast surgeries that have either removed all their milk ducts or severed the duct itself.  In fact, I was worried I wouldn’t be able to breastfeed because of several biopsies, a lumpectomy, radiation, and a couple rounds of chemo.  My goal was to try and I’m very blessed that I can still nurse my baby.  Thank God that there is formula for moms in these sorts of situations, but these moms don’t account for the 76.4% of women who aren’t breastfeeding at 6 months.  Hell, I’m pretty sure that moms who aren’t able to breastfeed know that breastmilk is better than formula.  (Plus, milk banks are on the grow.)

“But I don’t make enough milk.”

That’s crap.  I’m sorry to say it, but it is.  Gina, aka The Feminist Breeder, said it perfectly.  “If only 13.6% of us could make enough milk, the human race would never have survived.”  Breastfeeding is all about supply and demand.  You make colostrum for the first few days after the baby is born.  Yes, the baby is only eating teaspoons of the stuff, but that’s all he needs.  I don’t understand why doctors feel the need to suggest formula because “the milk hasn’t come in yet.”  Just because a baby weighs a couple ounces less than some graph says he should isn’t a good enough reason to feed your baby man-made crap.  Besides, you know what happens when you feed your baby that bottle?  The baby’s not suckling at the breast and your body doesn’t get signaled to make more milk.  When you don’t make more milk, you assume your supply is too low and you give your baby another bottle of formula.  When your baby is drinking the formula, he’s not at the boob and your body doesn’t make more milk.  It’s a nasty cycle.

Breast milk is recommended.

Let’s say that you can breastfeed and just want to supplement with formula.  Have you ever looked at a can of the stuff?  I’m a chemist and even I don’t know what half the chemicals are in it.  Do we know anything about the long-term safety of it?  You can’t watch the news without hearing a new report about how high fructose corn syrup will kill you or how aspartame gives you brain cancer.  Parents are paying good money to buy organic peas for their toddlers, but they have no problem feeding their infants chemicals.  A can of formula has more ingredients than a soda.  It sort of reminds me of Britney Spears feeding her babies Coke.

That's a LONG list!

In 2005 and 2006, Similac recalled over 300,000 because of manufacturing problems.  I wonder what happened to those who didn’t get the memo, opened up a can at 3:00 in the morning and didn’t see the black plastic particles mixed in with the formula.  Whoops!  Between 1982 and 1994, there were at least 22 infant formula recalls, 7 of which were life-threatening.  Nestle has been in the news for possibly violating World Health Organizations formula codes.  We need to remember that these companies are out to make money, not nurture our children.  I’m much happier feeding my baby something I KNOW is safe.

Formula fed babies are sicker.  Kaelin constantly had an ear infection or a cold.  She had diarrhea.  She had allergies.  Harper has not had a single malady.  Maybe it’s just a coincidence, but are you willing to take that risk?  Breastfeeding is hard, at first.  It takes work, but if you haven’t realized it yet, so does everything about parenting.  Just wait until you get to potty training.

Edited to add:  I’m not trying to guilt women who formula feed.  I AM judging people (moms, doctors, well-meaning strangers) who assume that formula is just as good as breast milk without any dangers or those who encourage moms to just throw in the towel and formula feed already.

Yes, They are Boobs

I was a bit early picking Kaelin up from school today.  Harper started fussing so I decided to feed her.  We found a shady spot under a tree near the parking lot and I lifted my shirt.  Harper latched on immediately and I was happily nursing when two other moms came up to me.  Here I was, thinking that maybe they were going to tell me how cute the baby was or some other small talk like that.

Instead…

They not so kindly informed me that breastfeeding was not appropriate in public, especially at a school where the kids might see.

Oh the horror!  You’re kids might actually see how babies were meant to be fed and how they’ve been fed for thousands and thousands of years.

*facepalm*

Honestly, I was a bit surprised.  I mean, these women have children.  They know where babies come from.  What’s the big deal?  It’s not like I was stripping on the playground.  There was barely any skin visible anyways.  So, I turned to the moms, gave them my big PTO Vice President smile and said…

I corupt ur kidz wit my pron

“Yes, they are boobs and yes, they are for feeding babies.  If you don’t like it, put a blanket over your head.”

Okay, so I probably should have been a bit nicer, because when they walked away, I heard the word bitch being tossed around.  Whatever.  It’s not like I haven’t been called that before.  But I guess I really upset them, because when I got home I had a message from the acting principal.  Breastfeeding in public is NOT illegal nor does the school have any right to prohibit me from nursing on school grounds.

SC State Law 63-5-40: Breastfeeding. (A) A woman may breastfeed her child in any location where the mother and her child are authorized to be. (B) Breastfeeding a child in a location where the mother is authorized to be is not considered indecent exposure.

So, yeah.  He asked me to be a bit more discrete and I asked that if parents have a problem with it, kindly tell them not to look.  The subject was dropped yet I don’t imagine I would be reelected for PTO next year (assuming I wasn’t pulling Kaelin’s rear out of this crappy excuse for a school district.)

2 Months

Prototype

Jason starts the next phase of his training on Monday — prototype. Basically, protoype is a moored ship that he’ll learn all the skills that he’ll actually use out in the fleet. Most everything else up to this point has been theory.

Jason and his CO

We are both excited for him to start. I’ve really enjoyed having him around the house 20 hours a day so he could help out and bond with Harper, but it’s time for him to work on his career. The sooner he’s done with prototype, the sooner we get out of this crap town. He also gets a nifty bonus when he finishes training as well as almost 2 years of back sub pay. We’ll also get about an extra $600 a month. Yay!

Of course, it’s not all about the money. Jason’s a lifer (meaning someone who plans to spend 20 years in the service) and he really wants to get picked up for OCS so he can become an officer. Everyone at his command thinks he would be a great officer and I have no doubt that he could make it into the program… except… he wants to be a nuke officer. To apply for the nuke program, you have to have 2 semesters of calculus and 2 semesters of physics. He only has one semester of each and there is no way he could get both of those classes waived. When he gets to his next duty station, he’s planning to take those classes at a local college, then apply. However, he’s old. Not old old, but old in the Navy sense. You have to have an age waiver if you are over 26 and you can only apply with that waiver until you are 29. So, he’s fighting against the clock here. The more time he spends at a training command where he isn’t allowed to take extra classes is less time he has to put in his packet.

Sadly, if he gets picked up for OCS, he’ll have to go through the training pipeline again as an officer. Another 6 months of power school then another 6 months of prototype.

*sigh*

He better look good in chokers.