Crying It Out

Crying it out is a HUGE topic in the parenting community. Basically, the thought is, if you let your baby cry without comforting him, he’ll learn to soothe himself and be a better sleeper. Yet, for every doctor, mom, and “expert” who insist that CIO is the path to sleep-filled nights there is another doctor, mom, and “expert” who will tell you that you are doing irrepairable harm to your child. What To Expect* tells you to let your baby cry; Dr. Sears suggests a more nuturing approach. Who’s right?

I hate the thought of my baby lying alone in a dark room crying. Yes, babies cry, but I don’t believe that babies cry for no good reason. Sure, I might not know what it is that the baby wants, but I doubt she’s crying because she likes the sound of her own screams. Besides, I might not be able to stop Harper from crying, but I can hold her while she cries.

Of course, that was before I discovered that is works for her. Every night around 7:00, Harper starts to fuss. Then the fuss turns into a full out screaming episode without any provocation. I change her. I try to nurse her. I rock her. I sing to her. We try the swing, the bouncer, the Moby wrap… basically anything we can think to do. She still cries. I know it’s just because she’s sleepy because she only fusses during the day right before she falls asleep. Anyways, the other night, I was cooking dinner before Jason got home but Harper was well into one of her fits. I laid her in her crib so I could get dinner finished and the crying stopped. It had been all of two minutes, yet Harps was fast asleep and slept for the next 10 hours.

Sleeping like a baby.

The next night, when she started crying, I tried the same thing. Almost immediately, she was out. For the past month, we’ve been trying to soothe her for hours, but it turns out that a couple of minutes alone in the crib gets her to sleep much faster than we could. Still thinking it might be a fluke, I tried it during one of her daytime bouts of fussiness. Sure enough, she cried for a few minutes, then was sleeping peacefully.

I’m not sure what to do now. When I lay her down screaming, she really only cries for a few minutes. She’s been sleeping much better at night and taking longer naps during the day. Is it wrong of me to put a crying baby in another room? I mean, I would never let her cry for more than 5 minutes or so without picking her up, but is that too long? I’m still not a fan of CIO or any other sleep training, but what if it works for us? Maybe Harper just needs all the stimulation (including her loving parents) removed to be able to sleep. But then why does it break my heart to let go of my crying baby?

*On a personal note, I absolutely HATE the What To Expect series.