Counting Down

11 days...

I can make it 11 more days, right?

I'm going on vacation (sorta)!  I'm not sure if it's really a vacation if you are just going to your mom's house and sleeping on the couch, but I'm excited to see my family.

Okay, you caught me. 

My parent's have a pool.  A really, really nice pool.  Like big enough to do laps in pool.  In fact, the first thing my dad said about my wedding reception photos was about how the photographer didn't get the pool in all the pictures.

Kaelin and her Uncle Joe

But I am excited to see them too.  First, my sister-in-law is pregnant with my first little niece or nephew (I'm thinking boy).  It will be nice to be the one doing the spoiling for a change.  Second, I'll get to see my sister!  I haven't seen her since Christmas.  She hasn't even met Harper yet.  Plus, my parents are taking us to Hershey Park.  I'm not really into theme parks, and I'm not really looking forward to having Harper in the heat all day, but neither my dad nor my sister's boyfriend do rides, so at least I won't be alone. 

And the running trails.  My parents live less than a mile from a Civil War battleground that has tons of trails and hills and trees and streams.  I trained for my half-marathon on those trails.  I've peed behind those trees.  So excited!

Plus, I'm getting a new tattoo (hopefully).  And new running shoes (hopefully).  And my hair did (hopefully).  My gosh, I need a haircut. 

I'm also going to go to Solomons and see all my friends!  Some of these people I haven't seen in 10 years.  I haven't been back to Maryland since I joined the Navy and I'm excited to see how much it's changed (especially since Jason and I might Navy-retire there).  I hear there's even a Starbucks.

Oh snap, my mom lives like 3 minutes from Starbucks.  There isn't even a Starbucks in my current town.  Mmm... cappucino goodness.

Of course, most of my plans depend on whether my stupid bank ever sends me my stupid check.  (I refuse to spend paycheck money on myself while we're in debt.)  They've been telling me, "Next week, next week" for almost two months now.  "Ma'am, you don't have to keep calling us.  We'll contact you."  If we were at Burger King, they would have spit in my food.

And Five Guys.  My parents live right down the street from Five Guys.

Anyways, can you tell I'm excited?

How Do You Raise More Than One Kid?

Kaelin was an only child for a long time.  After she was born, our family was complete.  We knew we didn't want or need any more kids. 

But life happens and several years later, Jason and I started talking babies.  If?  When?  How many?

Harper was born when Kaelin was 8 1/2 years old.  She loves her little sister and she's a great big sister.  Honestly, I really can't imagine trying to raise another baby without her help.  But things are different now.  I'm older.  I have so much more patience with Harper than I did with Kaelin.  Kaelin had colic.  She would scream for something around 20 hours a day.  When her dad came home, he turned on the Playstation and asked me why I couldn't shut the baby up.  After all, he'd been at work all day. 

I only breastfed Kaelin for 6 weeks and never exclusively.  We didn't cloth diaper.  I didn't feed her homemade baby food.  I had no problem sticking her in front of the tv when she was being too bothersome.  I stuck her in daycare and went back to school without a second thought. 

Harper's experienced the opposite of everything.  She's exclusively breastfed and cloth diapered.  I bought a food processor and have books about making your own purees.  The only tv she watches is when Kaelin or I watch tv.  I'm still not sure if I'll ever go back to work, but I hate the thought of not being with Harper all day.

Do I love Harper more than I love Kaelin?  Of course not.  Do I feel that Harper's gotten a lot more attention than Kaelin did, even as an only child?  Maybe. 

A four month old takes a lot more work than an almost nine year old.  I have to give Harper a bath while Kaelin can take an unsupervised shower.  I have to nurse Harper while Kaelin can pour her own cereal.  Kaelin's content to read quitely in her room while I have to play with Harps.  I try to do special things with Kaelin like let her run errands with me while Jason takes the baby, but she's not really interested.  She doesn't want to watch movies with me and rarely curls up with me in bed.  It doesn't seem that Kaelin feels the same way I do; she's already in negotiations for another sibling (as long as it's a girl).  Yet she tells my parents that she never gets to spend time with me.  Am I missing something?

Wow, I'm completely rambling now.

Would I feel differently if Kaelin and Harper were closer in age?  Or does it not matter how old they are -- I'll always worry that I'm treating them differently?  Does this get easier with more kids?  Harder?  Am I going to have to pay huge therapy bills?