6 Months

Today, my baby is closer to being a toddler than a newborn.  What the hell, time?  You had no problem stretching six months out while I was anxious to meet my baby.  You had no problem slowing the clock down when I spent weeks at a time hunched over the toilet.  But now?  Now that things are getting fun, you're speeding up. 

And it's not fair.

My tiny 8 lb 10 oz baby is 16 pounds now.  She no longer fits in her adorable newborn sleepers.  Rather, she's wearing people clothes, size 9 months.  Instead of staying still in one place looking all cute she's scurrying around the house chewing on cords (still cute, though.) 

Please slow down. 

At least until we hit the terrible twos.

Dear Idiot, You Suck

A few days ago, a radio host in South Carolina went on the air about how she was "disgusted with breastfeeding."  You can read a transcript of the segment here. 

I'm pissed off.  I mean, I am really fucking pissed off.  I believe that everyone can have their own opinions, even if they are ignorant jackasses.  But when you broadcast that opinion to hundreds of thousands of susceptible listeners...  well, I'm really pissed off.  It's the total lack of support from other WOMEN that keeps moms from breastfeeding. 
Anyways, I wrote a letter to the show's program director and I encourage everyone to do the same.  You can find the contact information for both he and the rest of the radio staff here.  I don't care whether you chose to breastfeed or formula feed.  EVERY parent has the right to feed their kids. 

***
Dear Mr. McLain:

I am writing to you today over a segment that was aired on the Russ & Lisa Show on July 6th describing Lisa Rollins' lunch at Chick-Fil-A.

I am appalled that you have such a bigot on the air. Over the course of the conversation, Ms. Rollins suggested that breastfeeding mothers:

     1. Nurse in a car, no matter the temperature.

     2. Nurse in a car while the car is moving.

     3. Nurse in a public restroom.

     4. Stay at home.

     5. Feed their baby a bottle rather than nurse.

     6. Leave public areas if the need to nurse arises.

Ms. Rollins then went on to suggest there should be laws against breastfeeding. I would like to point out that South Carolina actually has laws in place to protect nursing mothers from people like her.

S.C. Code Ann. § 63-5-40 (2005):
(A) A woman may breastfeed her child in any location where the mother and her child are authorized to be.
(B) Breastfeeding a child in a location where the mother is authorized to be is not considered to be indecent exposure.

I don't believe I need to point out to you how hot it gets in this state. Should anyone be forced to sit in their car for lunch, even with the air conditioning on? Infants are also more susceptible to heat than adults. Perhaps Ms. Rollins and her daughter should have had lunch in their car.

Nursing a child while a car is in motion is ILLEGAL. Obviously, Ms. Rollins isn't informed of the law, but that's the purpose of a car seat.

Nursing in a public restroom is unsanitary. Even if you assume that the restroom is clean, every time a toilet is flushed, bacteria and feces are sprayed into the air. While this might not make an adult sick, babies have weaker immune systems. Nursing sessions can last anywhere from 5 minutes to an hour. Is Ms. Rollins really suggesting that a mother sit on a toilet with her child for an hour? What if the mother has other children with her? Should they sit in the restroom while their mom feeds their baby sibling? Or should the mother leave her children unattended? And honestly, when was the last time you ever saw a public restroom you would eat in?

If public nursing offends Ms. Rollins so bad, maybe she should stay at home since again, the rights of breastfeeding mothers are protected by law. The World Health Organization recommends that all children be breastfed for at least two years. Is it fair (or legal) to tell nursing mothers that they can't run errands or eat outside the house for over two years because Ms. Rollins is uncomfortable?

Doctors don't recommend feeding infants from bottles if they are breastfeeding. Artificial nipples on bottles can cause nipple confusion and drinking from a bottle instead of nursing can dramatically affect the mother's milk production.

While Ms. Rollins is entitled to her opinions, her comments are ignorant. Breastfeeding is the number one thing you can do for a child and most mothers aren't doing it -- in part because they have no support. Women are afraid to nurse in public, despite being protected by the law, because of comments like Ms. Rollins made. Your station is broadcast to hundreds of thousands of people, if not millions, and it is discouraging and disappointing to hear her uninformed comments reaching impressionable mothers.

Breastfeeding is recommended by doctors throughout the world. No mother should ever feel ashamed or embarrassed to feed her child. Breastfeeding is normal and it's beautiful.

I believe that Ms. Rollins should issue an apology to all nursing mothers, especially the mother she criticized in Chick-Fil-A as well as inform her listeners of the South Carolina law protecting breastfeeding.

I look forward to hearing from you regarding this matter.

Sincerely,
Jennifer Embry

Battle of the Lawn

"Are you going to mow the lawn this weekend?"

"No, I was going to wait.  It doesn't need it yet."

"Fine, I'll mow the yard this weekend."

"No, that's my job."

"What?  I can't mow the yard because I have boobs?"

"No, you can't mow the lawn because you work so hard inside the house, it's the least I can do."

"So, you're going to mow the yard this weekend?  And the sidewalks need edged too.  I can do that while you mow."

"Yeah, I'll take care of it, and I'll edge the sidewalks too."

"Promise you're going to do it?  We'll get a fine from the housing office if you don't."

"Yeah, I'll do it."

***
So guess what I got in the mail today?  If you said, definitely not a notice from the housing office for having an unkempt yard because you're wonderful husband has been saying he'll take care of it for the past three months, you'd be wrong.

I guess I'll be the one outside tomorrow in 100 degree heat edging the stupid sidewalk.

This is what my yard should look like.  That is, if I didn't have a lazy, chauvinistic husband.

Another Three Months of This, Really?

These last few months have been one of the crappiest periods of my life.  That's so weird to say, though, because at the same time, these past few months have been amazing.  I'm so blessed to have my family, and every day that I get to see Harper and Kaelin grow is just... wow!

But my husband has been non-existant.  He's still at Prototype (a 6 month long, intensive training program) and he's working himself sick.  Unlike his other schools, Prototype is go at your own pace.  You have 22 weeks to do a certain amount of work, but you can finish as early as 13.  Of course, you have to get special permission to finish that early, but it's possible.  More realistically, most people start to finish around 16 weeks until about 20. 

Jason's at the end of week 13. 

There are circumstances beyond his control that's making it really hard for everyone to get qualified.  There's just not enough staff and not enough time to get everything done that needs done.  The way it works is, you have to get a certain number of points a day to stay about the curve, the curve being the number of points you need at any given time to finish in week 22.  If you fall below the curve, you're dinq (delinquint in qualification).  If you're dinq, bad things happen.  You get to work 14 hour days instead of 12.  If you get far enough ahead of the curve, good things happen.  You get to work 10 hour days instead of 12. 

Thankfully, Jason's never been dinq.

He's been on reduced hours most of prototype, even though he doesn't usally take them.  Most of the time, he goes into work a couple hours early so he can get a head start.  While he's at work, he rarely takes breaks.  He eats lunch at his desk while he studies.  Needless to say, after 10+ hours a day, 7 days a week of this, he's turned into a zombie.

He comes home and falls asleep in the middle of a conversation.  When he does have the energy to talk, it's always about work.  He's so stressed because he feels like he should be doing better.  But he's one of 3 mechanics on his crew who aren't dinq.  Really, there's nothing else he can do, but that doesn't stop him from trying.  I love that he's so ambitious and wants to do well.  One of the problems from our early relationship was that he was a bit too content sitting in front of the computer all day while I was at work.  I just want him to lighten up a little. 

I've tried to tell him it doesn't get much easier after he graduates.  Who cares if he qualifies week 16 instead of week 22?  Absolutely nobody.  When he gets to his next boat, he has to do it all over again.  Welcome aboard, you're dinq and all that.  Except it's going to be worse.  Instead of training, it's a real boat.  You know, one that actually goes underwater and fights the bad guys.  When he gets to the fleet, he'll have duty days.  He'll have underways.  He'll have deployments.  We aren't going to see much of him at all.  I've been doing this for over ten years. 

I'm a Navy wife.  I accept this.

But he's at a training command now, and damn it, I want my husband back.

Note:  I know that there are people who have it worse off than we do.  My heart goes out to the guys who work just as hard as Jason, but still have to put in extra hours.  However, your complaints that you don't get to see your family because you work 14 hour days don't weigh very much when you go home, ignore your wife and play Halo for 6 hours.  It also doesn't make sense to complain that you don't get to see your husband if you go out with your friends every night after he gets home.  I also really don't care that you don't get to see your boyfriend because he's on a different crew.  You date a fellow sailor, what did you expect?  Don't bitch about your 6 month deployment when you spend more time playing WoW than with your kids.


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My Problem with Twilight

I like the Twilight books; I really do.  A coworker loaned me her copy of Twilight almost two years ago because I had forgotten a book to read during my lunch break.  I was skeptical, but I'll give any book a chance.

I didn't love it.  The actual writing isn't that great and the main character (Bella) was kind of annoying.  Annoying like I want to slap her and explain to her that a 17 year old in love is, well, laughable.  That's not to say that 17 year olds can't fall in love.  My mom got married at 17 and will be celebrating her 30th wedding anniversary in a few days.  But my God, is Bella an example of how not to be at that age.  Anyways, despite my better judgement, I bought New Moon.  I love New Moon.  It's one of my favorite books.  So, I anxiously order Eclipse and Breaking Dawn -- which both suck. 

But the series is entertaining if you can suspend your disbelief long enough to get into the story. 

In fact, this post isn't a tirade against the books.  I've read the books (especially New Moon) at least a dozen times over the last two years because I really like the relationships between the characters.  I realize that Stephanie Meyer isn't Jane Austin or Charlotte Bronte, but she doesn't pretend to be.

Rather, this post is about how much the movies suck.

Twilight sucked.  I watched it a total of ONE time and I cannot bring myself to watch it again.  It's like they said, "Let's take all the redeeming qualities from this book and throw them out the window."  I felt like I was watching two hours of Kristin Stewart biting her lip.  I've seen Robert Pattinson in other movies, and I know he can act.  Kristin Stewart, well, not so much.  I kept waiting for the movie to develop the characters.  I kept waiting for the bond to develop that turns Bella into an Edwardcentric shell.  It never happened. 

Then New Moon came out.  Remember, that I love New Moon.  The previews were pretty awesome and I thought, okay, I'll bite.  I even bought the movie because I was sure I would love it as much as the book. 

*facepalm*

I love New Moon because of the relationship Jacob and Bella have.  I love New Moon because it's slightly less "Oh, Edward."  But again, the movie lacked any depth.  I realize it's hard to put a 500 page book into a two hour movie, but it really seemed like they cut out the best parts.  Even the screenwriter, Melissa Rosenberg, claims that the series isn't exactly high art.  Thank goodness Taylor Lautner is hot, or I'd be out $20.  Hell, even Robert Pattinson said he's bored of the saga. 

So I was pretty much over the movies by the time the 50 billion trailers and clips of Eclipse were released.  Just the fact that Eclipse is probably the most boring book in the series and that the trailers are centered around Riley, who's in the book for all of three pages, put the proverbial final nail in the coffin.  Maybe I'll pay the $1 for the redbox rental in a couple of months, but I doubt it.

I realize that the Twilight franchise doesn't care.  There are enough vampire wannabes out there to make Summit rich. 

I also realize that I'm not the target demographic for Twilight.  I'm not all "Oh, Edward" and I don't desire to be Bella and have a sparkly vampire save me.  Interestingly, the facebook status updates that are constantly blabbering on about Eclipse are from friends who are over the age of 40 or under the age of 21.  I think I was lucky enough to be raised with a generation that was taught you don't need a man (or vampire) to save you from your life.  Or maybe it's because I'm happily married and have no reason to imagine myself giving birth to a vampire spawn.

Or maybe it's because I watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer and realize it's been done before, much better.

Angel will always be better than Edward if for no other reason than he doesn't sparkle.

Also people, please don't name your kid Bella, Edward, or Cullen.  Seriously, Cullen is the fastest growing baby name of 2009.  Twilight is a fad that will fade like NKOTB (look it up, young'uns) and your kid will NOT appreciate it in 20 years.

Photo source:  http://img511.imageshack.us/i/buffy133yq2.jpg/