MacGyver Thundercats Picard

We'll, Jason and I are officially trying. 

We've gone back and forth since before Harper was born about when we wanted Baby #3 (henceforth known as MacGyver Thundercats Picard Embry).  We had decided to wait until he got his orders so we had some idea of where we would be and when he would be deployed anytime soon.  But since he found out he's going to be staff pick-up, we know he's not going anywhere for the next few years.

Now, I know there are people who think having a third kid right now is just too soon (Hi Mom!).  But trust me on this -- we have looked at every possible pro and con of which we could think.  For instance:

Con:  Changing Two Sets of Diapers a Day
Response:  Most babies are potty-trained between the ages of 2 and 3.  So, even if we waited there would be a good that Harper would still be in diapers.  Plus, toddlers tend to regress a little when a new sibling arrives, so even if she was out of diapers at the time, we would probably have more accidents with which to deal anyways.  Besides, it's not like changing diapers is a significant part of my day or something I dread.  Everybody poops!

Con:  Harper Won't Have Time to be 'The Baby'
Response:  So?  First, it's not like she'll remember the mounds of attention she gets right now.  Plus, we already have another kid so it's not like Harper gets 100% of her parents 100% of the time as it is.  Having a sibling close in age will give her a playmate and a lifelong friend.  One of my regrets with Kaelin was that she doesn't have a sister that's near her developmentally.  Someone with whom to share secrets and clothes.  A new baby doesn't replace Harper; we'll still love the immeasurable amount we already do. 

Con:  Can't Run a Marathon Pregnant
Response:  Of course you can!  Not that I would as a beginning marathoner, but it's not like marathons are a once in a lifetime event.  If I'm too pregnant to run the Kansas Marathon in 2011, I can run a fall marathon.  Or, I can run it in 2012. 

Edit -- Apparently, the 2011 Kansas Marathon has been canceled.  I take it as a sign. 

Con:  The Closer in Age, The Greater the Sibling Rivalry
Response:  Studies actually show the opposite to be true.  Also, the younger the child is when I new sibling arrives, they less they feel like they are being replaced.  Besides, I think that sibling rivalry is more a product of the parent/child relationship than that of the siblings.

This list could go on and on and on and that's without me even putting a dent in the pros.

Unfortunately, creating MacGyver isn't as simple as A + B = C.  At my age, the chances of conception during a normal cycle is 20%.  But my cycles aren't normal.  They've never been normal and breastfeeding doesn't make them any better.  For the past several years, I've had really irregular cycles, anywhere from 30 to 75 days.  Most have been anovulatory.  The few cycles I have released and egg, I've had a short luteal phase (meaning the egg can be fertilized but can't implant).

Because I know you really wanted to see my chart!

It was nothing short of a miracle that we conceived Harper (or really good luck if you don't believe in that sort of thing). 

I have had my first postpartum bleeding and I have gobs of amazing cervical fluid which are both good signs. But neither is any guarantee that I'm ovulating and I won't know what my luteal phase looks like for a few cycles.  We could get pregnant tomorrow or it could take years.  Worst case scenario is that I would have to wean Harper and then wait months for my body to adjust.  Although, that's not a guarantee because my fertility was really low even before I started nursing. 

All we can do in the meantime is try and wait. 

Dear Idiot, You Suck

A few days ago, a radio host in South Carolina went on the air about how she was "disgusted with breastfeeding."  You can read a transcript of the segment here. 

I'm pissed off.  I mean, I am really fucking pissed off.  I believe that everyone can have their own opinions, even if they are ignorant jackasses.  But when you broadcast that opinion to hundreds of thousands of susceptible listeners...  well, I'm really pissed off.  It's the total lack of support from other WOMEN that keeps moms from breastfeeding. 
Anyways, I wrote a letter to the show's program director and I encourage everyone to do the same.  You can find the contact information for both he and the rest of the radio staff here.  I don't care whether you chose to breastfeed or formula feed.  EVERY parent has the right to feed their kids. 

***
Dear Mr. McLain:

I am writing to you today over a segment that was aired on the Russ & Lisa Show on July 6th describing Lisa Rollins' lunch at Chick-Fil-A.

I am appalled that you have such a bigot on the air. Over the course of the conversation, Ms. Rollins suggested that breastfeeding mothers:

     1. Nurse in a car, no matter the temperature.

     2. Nurse in a car while the car is moving.

     3. Nurse in a public restroom.

     4. Stay at home.

     5. Feed their baby a bottle rather than nurse.

     6. Leave public areas if the need to nurse arises.

Ms. Rollins then went on to suggest there should be laws against breastfeeding. I would like to point out that South Carolina actually has laws in place to protect nursing mothers from people like her.

S.C. Code Ann. § 63-5-40 (2005):
(A) A woman may breastfeed her child in any location where the mother and her child are authorized to be.
(B) Breastfeeding a child in a location where the mother is authorized to be is not considered to be indecent exposure.

I don't believe I need to point out to you how hot it gets in this state. Should anyone be forced to sit in their car for lunch, even with the air conditioning on? Infants are also more susceptible to heat than adults. Perhaps Ms. Rollins and her daughter should have had lunch in their car.

Nursing a child while a car is in motion is ILLEGAL. Obviously, Ms. Rollins isn't informed of the law, but that's the purpose of a car seat.

Nursing in a public restroom is unsanitary. Even if you assume that the restroom is clean, every time a toilet is flushed, bacteria and feces are sprayed into the air. While this might not make an adult sick, babies have weaker immune systems. Nursing sessions can last anywhere from 5 minutes to an hour. Is Ms. Rollins really suggesting that a mother sit on a toilet with her child for an hour? What if the mother has other children with her? Should they sit in the restroom while their mom feeds their baby sibling? Or should the mother leave her children unattended? And honestly, when was the last time you ever saw a public restroom you would eat in?

If public nursing offends Ms. Rollins so bad, maybe she should stay at home since again, the rights of breastfeeding mothers are protected by law. The World Health Organization recommends that all children be breastfed for at least two years. Is it fair (or legal) to tell nursing mothers that they can't run errands or eat outside the house for over two years because Ms. Rollins is uncomfortable?

Doctors don't recommend feeding infants from bottles if they are breastfeeding. Artificial nipples on bottles can cause nipple confusion and drinking from a bottle instead of nursing can dramatically affect the mother's milk production.

While Ms. Rollins is entitled to her opinions, her comments are ignorant. Breastfeeding is the number one thing you can do for a child and most mothers aren't doing it -- in part because they have no support. Women are afraid to nurse in public, despite being protected by the law, because of comments like Ms. Rollins made. Your station is broadcast to hundreds of thousands of people, if not millions, and it is discouraging and disappointing to hear her uninformed comments reaching impressionable mothers.

Breastfeeding is recommended by doctors throughout the world. No mother should ever feel ashamed or embarrassed to feed her child. Breastfeeding is normal and it's beautiful.

I believe that Ms. Rollins should issue an apology to all nursing mothers, especially the mother she criticized in Chick-Fil-A as well as inform her listeners of the South Carolina law protecting breastfeeding.

I look forward to hearing from you regarding this matter.

Sincerely,
Jennifer Embry

How Do You Raise More Than One Kid?

Kaelin was an only child for a long time.  After she was born, our family was complete.  We knew we didn't want or need any more kids. 

But life happens and several years later, Jason and I started talking babies.  If?  When?  How many?

Harper was born when Kaelin was 8 1/2 years old.  She loves her little sister and she's a great big sister.  Honestly, I really can't imagine trying to raise another baby without her help.  But things are different now.  I'm older.  I have so much more patience with Harper than I did with Kaelin.  Kaelin had colic.  She would scream for something around 20 hours a day.  When her dad came home, he turned on the Playstation and asked me why I couldn't shut the baby up.  After all, he'd been at work all day. 

I only breastfed Kaelin for 6 weeks and never exclusively.  We didn't cloth diaper.  I didn't feed her homemade baby food.  I had no problem sticking her in front of the tv when she was being too bothersome.  I stuck her in daycare and went back to school without a second thought. 

Harper's experienced the opposite of everything.  She's exclusively breastfed and cloth diapered.  I bought a food processor and have books about making your own purees.  The only tv she watches is when Kaelin or I watch tv.  I'm still not sure if I'll ever go back to work, but I hate the thought of not being with Harper all day.

Do I love Harper more than I love Kaelin?  Of course not.  Do I feel that Harper's gotten a lot more attention than Kaelin did, even as an only child?  Maybe. 

A four month old takes a lot more work than an almost nine year old.  I have to give Harper a bath while Kaelin can take an unsupervised shower.  I have to nurse Harper while Kaelin can pour her own cereal.  Kaelin's content to read quitely in her room while I have to play with Harps.  I try to do special things with Kaelin like let her run errands with me while Jason takes the baby, but she's not really interested.  She doesn't want to watch movies with me and rarely curls up with me in bed.  It doesn't seem that Kaelin feels the same way I do; she's already in negotiations for another sibling (as long as it's a girl).  Yet she tells my parents that she never gets to spend time with me.  Am I missing something?

Wow, I'm completely rambling now.

Would I feel differently if Kaelin and Harper were closer in age?  Or does it not matter how old they are -- I'll always worry that I'm treating them differently?  Does this get easier with more kids?  Harder?  Am I going to have to pay huge therapy bills? 

An Open Letter

Dear Period,

Well, it's been a while.  Honestly, I haven't missed you all that much.  I knew that we would have to meet up again someday, but less than 5 months?  Why are you punishing me just because my exclusively breastfed baby is sleeping through the night?  It doesn't seem fair. 

You suck,
Jen

(Less than 7% of ecologically breastfeeding moms get their periods back before 6 months.  The average is 14 months.  See... I told you it's not fair.)


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Pot, Meet Kettle

Kim Kardashian, who is famous for… well being famous, recently took to her twitter and posted the following:

 

EWW Im at lunch,the woman at the table next 2 me is breast feeding her baby w no coverup then puts baby on the table and changes her diaper

 

Yes, changing a baby on a table during lunch is not really the best thing to do, but obviously, she didn’t mean the EWW about the breastfeeding woman, right?

My sister breast feeds! Its a natural beautiful thing, there’s nothing wrong w it, but she covers herself, not w her boobs exposed

Oh. So, it’s okay to breastfeed as long as she doesn’t show her breasts.  Gotcha. 

Harper having lunch.

Kim having lunch.

Seriously, who is showing more boob here? 

(Also, for those lucky few who really don't know who Kim Kardashian is, she had a sex tape a few years back and then posed in Playboy.  Now, she has a reality show because she had a sex tape and posed in Playboy.) 

My Weekly Rant

This week’s topic… FORMULA FEEDING.

It’s common knowledge that “breast is best.”  The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends breastfeeding exclusively for at least 6 months.  The World Health Organization goes even further and recommends nursing for two years.  Yet, only 13.6% of moms are still exclusively breastfeeding at 6 months.  I imagine that the percentage at two years is practically nonexistent.

Almost everything you read will talk about how AMAZING breastfeeding is for you and your baby.  But it’s not true; breast is not best.  Breast is normal.  Breast milk is what babies have eaten for thousands and thousands of years.  Breast milk is fine; formula is sub-par.  Articles will say to breastfeed your baby but don’t worry about it too much if you don’t breastfeed.  If it didn’t matter whether your baby was breastfed or formula fed, why would there be tons and tons of studies proving otherwise?

I’ll admit it.  I only breastfed Kaelin for six months.  Why did I stop?  Honestly, it was because I was selfish.  I was tired of dealing with nightly feedings.  I was annoyed at having my breasts leak in the middle of the grocery store.  I got free formula from WIC.  But above all else, I quit breastfeeding because everyone told me that “formula is just fine.”

Now, almost 9 years later, I realize what a load of crap that is.

Now, before you start in with your buts and what ifs, I understand that there are times when a baby has to be formula fed.  I know several moms who have had various breast surgeries that have either removed all their milk ducts or severed the duct itself.  In fact, I was worried I wouldn’t be able to breastfeed because of several biopsies, a lumpectomy, radiation, and a couple rounds of chemo.  My goal was to try and I’m very blessed that I can still nurse my baby.  Thank God that there is formula for moms in these sorts of situations, but these moms don’t account for the 76.4% of women who aren’t breastfeeding at 6 months.  Hell, I’m pretty sure that moms who aren’t able to breastfeed know that breastmilk is better than formula.  (Plus, milk banks are on the grow.)

“But I don’t make enough milk.”

That’s crap.  I’m sorry to say it, but it is.  Gina, aka The Feminist Breeder, said it perfectly.  “If only 13.6% of us could make enough milk, the human race would never have survived.”  Breastfeeding is all about supply and demand.  You make colostrum for the first few days after the baby is born.  Yes, the baby is only eating teaspoons of the stuff, but that’s all he needs.  I don’t understand why doctors feel the need to suggest formula because “the milk hasn’t come in yet.”  Just because a baby weighs a couple ounces less than some graph says he should isn’t a good enough reason to feed your baby man-made crap.  Besides, you know what happens when you feed your baby that bottle?  The baby’s not suckling at the breast and your body doesn’t get signaled to make more milk.  When you don’t make more milk, you assume your supply is too low and you give your baby another bottle of formula.  When your baby is drinking the formula, he’s not at the boob and your body doesn’t make more milk.  It’s a nasty cycle.

Breast milk is recommended.

Let’s say that you can breastfeed and just want to supplement with formula.  Have you ever looked at a can of the stuff?  I’m a chemist and even I don’t know what half the chemicals are in it.  Do we know anything about the long-term safety of it?  You can’t watch the news without hearing a new report about how high fructose corn syrup will kill you or how aspartame gives you brain cancer.  Parents are paying good money to buy organic peas for their toddlers, but they have no problem feeding their infants chemicals.  A can of formula has more ingredients than a soda.  It sort of reminds me of Britney Spears feeding her babies Coke.

That's a LONG list!

In 2005 and 2006, Similac recalled over 300,000 because of manufacturing problems.  I wonder what happened to those who didn’t get the memo, opened up a can at 3:00 in the morning and didn’t see the black plastic particles mixed in with the formula.  Whoops!  Between 1982 and 1994, there were at least 22 infant formula recalls, 7 of which were life-threatening.  Nestle has been in the news for possibly violating World Health Organizations formula codes.  We need to remember that these companies are out to make money, not nurture our children.  I’m much happier feeding my baby something I KNOW is safe.

Formula fed babies are sicker.  Kaelin constantly had an ear infection or a cold.  She had diarrhea.  She had allergies.  Harper has not had a single malady.  Maybe it’s just a coincidence, but are you willing to take that risk?  Breastfeeding is hard, at first.  It takes work, but if you haven’t realized it yet, so does everything about parenting.  Just wait until you get to potty training.

Edited to add:  I’m not trying to guilt women who formula feed.  I AM judging people (moms, doctors, well-meaning strangers) who assume that formula is just as good as breast milk without any dangers or those who encourage moms to just throw in the towel and formula feed already.

Yes, They are Boobs

I was a bit early picking Kaelin up from school today.  Harper started fussing so I decided to feed her.  We found a shady spot under a tree near the parking lot and I lifted my shirt.  Harper latched on immediately and I was happily nursing when two other moms came up to me.  Here I was, thinking that maybe they were going to tell me how cute the baby was or some other small talk like that.

Instead…

They not so kindly informed me that breastfeeding was not appropriate in public, especially at a school where the kids might see.

Oh the horror!  You’re kids might actually see how babies were meant to be fed and how they’ve been fed for thousands and thousands of years.

*facepalm*

Honestly, I was a bit surprised.  I mean, these women have children.  They know where babies come from.  What’s the big deal?  It’s not like I was stripping on the playground.  There was barely any skin visible anyways.  So, I turned to the moms, gave them my big PTO Vice President smile and said…

I corupt ur kidz wit my pron

“Yes, they are boobs and yes, they are for feeding babies.  If you don’t like it, put a blanket over your head.”

Okay, so I probably should have been a bit nicer, because when they walked away, I heard the word bitch being tossed around.  Whatever.  It’s not like I haven’t been called that before.  But I guess I really upset them, because when I got home I had a message from the acting principal.  Breastfeeding in public is NOT illegal nor does the school have any right to prohibit me from nursing on school grounds.

SC State Law 63-5-40: Breastfeeding. (A) A woman may breastfeed her child in any location where the mother and her child are authorized to be. (B) Breastfeeding a child in a location where the mother is authorized to be is not considered indecent exposure.

So, yeah.  He asked me to be a bit more discrete and I asked that if parents have a problem with it, kindly tell them not to look.  The subject was dropped yet I don’t imagine I would be reelected for PTO next year (assuming I wasn’t pulling Kaelin’s rear out of this crappy excuse for a school district.)