Counting Down

11 days...

I can make it 11 more days, right?

I'm going on vacation (sorta)!  I'm not sure if it's really a vacation if you are just going to your mom's house and sleeping on the couch, but I'm excited to see my family.

Okay, you caught me. 

My parent's have a pool.  A really, really nice pool.  Like big enough to do laps in pool.  In fact, the first thing my dad said about my wedding reception photos was about how the photographer didn't get the pool in all the pictures.

Kaelin and her Uncle Joe

But I am excited to see them too.  First, my sister-in-law is pregnant with my first little niece or nephew (I'm thinking boy).  It will be nice to be the one doing the spoiling for a change.  Second, I'll get to see my sister!  I haven't seen her since Christmas.  She hasn't even met Harper yet.  Plus, my parents are taking us to Hershey Park.  I'm not really into theme parks, and I'm not really looking forward to having Harper in the heat all day, but neither my dad nor my sister's boyfriend do rides, so at least I won't be alone. 

And the running trails.  My parents live less than a mile from a Civil War battleground that has tons of trails and hills and trees and streams.  I trained for my half-marathon on those trails.  I've peed behind those trees.  So excited!

Plus, I'm getting a new tattoo (hopefully).  And new running shoes (hopefully).  And my hair did (hopefully).  My gosh, I need a haircut. 

I'm also going to go to Solomons and see all my friends!  Some of these people I haven't seen in 10 years.  I haven't been back to Maryland since I joined the Navy and I'm excited to see how much it's changed (especially since Jason and I might Navy-retire there).  I hear there's even a Starbucks.

Oh snap, my mom lives like 3 minutes from Starbucks.  There isn't even a Starbucks in my current town.  Mmm... cappucino goodness.

Of course, most of my plans depend on whether my stupid bank ever sends me my stupid check.  (I refuse to spend paycheck money on myself while we're in debt.)  They've been telling me, "Next week, next week" for almost two months now.  "Ma'am, you don't have to keep calling us.  We'll contact you."  If we were at Burger King, they would have spit in my food.

And Five Guys.  My parents live right down the street from Five Guys.

Anyways, can you tell I'm excited?

Another Three Months of This, Really?

These last few months have been one of the crappiest periods of my life.  That's so weird to say, though, because at the same time, these past few months have been amazing.  I'm so blessed to have my family, and every day that I get to see Harper and Kaelin grow is just... wow!

But my husband has been non-existant.  He's still at Prototype (a 6 month long, intensive training program) and he's working himself sick.  Unlike his other schools, Prototype is go at your own pace.  You have 22 weeks to do a certain amount of work, but you can finish as early as 13.  Of course, you have to get special permission to finish that early, but it's possible.  More realistically, most people start to finish around 16 weeks until about 20. 

Jason's at the end of week 13. 

There are circumstances beyond his control that's making it really hard for everyone to get qualified.  There's just not enough staff and not enough time to get everything done that needs done.  The way it works is, you have to get a certain number of points a day to stay about the curve, the curve being the number of points you need at any given time to finish in week 22.  If you fall below the curve, you're dinq (delinquint in qualification).  If you're dinq, bad things happen.  You get to work 14 hour days instead of 12.  If you get far enough ahead of the curve, good things happen.  You get to work 10 hour days instead of 12. 

Thankfully, Jason's never been dinq.

He's been on reduced hours most of prototype, even though he doesn't usally take them.  Most of the time, he goes into work a couple hours early so he can get a head start.  While he's at work, he rarely takes breaks.  He eats lunch at his desk while he studies.  Needless to say, after 10+ hours a day, 7 days a week of this, he's turned into a zombie.

He comes home and falls asleep in the middle of a conversation.  When he does have the energy to talk, it's always about work.  He's so stressed because he feels like he should be doing better.  But he's one of 3 mechanics on his crew who aren't dinq.  Really, there's nothing else he can do, but that doesn't stop him from trying.  I love that he's so ambitious and wants to do well.  One of the problems from our early relationship was that he was a bit too content sitting in front of the computer all day while I was at work.  I just want him to lighten up a little. 

I've tried to tell him it doesn't get much easier after he graduates.  Who cares if he qualifies week 16 instead of week 22?  Absolutely nobody.  When he gets to his next boat, he has to do it all over again.  Welcome aboard, you're dinq and all that.  Except it's going to be worse.  Instead of training, it's a real boat.  You know, one that actually goes underwater and fights the bad guys.  When he gets to the fleet, he'll have duty days.  He'll have underways.  He'll have deployments.  We aren't going to see much of him at all.  I've been doing this for over ten years. 

I'm a Navy wife.  I accept this.

But he's at a training command now, and damn it, I want my husband back.

Note:  I know that there are people who have it worse off than we do.  My heart goes out to the guys who work just as hard as Jason, but still have to put in extra hours.  However, your complaints that you don't get to see your family because you work 14 hour days don't weigh very much when you go home, ignore your wife and play Halo for 6 hours.  It also doesn't make sense to complain that you don't get to see your husband if you go out with your friends every night after he gets home.  I also really don't care that you don't get to see your boyfriend because he's on a different crew.  You date a fellow sailor, what did you expect?  Don't bitch about your 6 month deployment when you spend more time playing WoW than with your kids.


Have you voted today?  It only takes two clicks!

My Problem with Twilight

I like the Twilight books; I really do.  A coworker loaned me her copy of Twilight almost two years ago because I had forgotten a book to read during my lunch break.  I was skeptical, but I'll give any book a chance.

I didn't love it.  The actual writing isn't that great and the main character (Bella) was kind of annoying.  Annoying like I want to slap her and explain to her that a 17 year old in love is, well, laughable.  That's not to say that 17 year olds can't fall in love.  My mom got married at 17 and will be celebrating her 30th wedding anniversary in a few days.  But my God, is Bella an example of how not to be at that age.  Anyways, despite my better judgement, I bought New Moon.  I love New Moon.  It's one of my favorite books.  So, I anxiously order Eclipse and Breaking Dawn -- which both suck. 

But the series is entertaining if you can suspend your disbelief long enough to get into the story. 

In fact, this post isn't a tirade against the books.  I've read the books (especially New Moon) at least a dozen times over the last two years because I really like the relationships between the characters.  I realize that Stephanie Meyer isn't Jane Austin or Charlotte Bronte, but she doesn't pretend to be.

Rather, this post is about how much the movies suck.

Twilight sucked.  I watched it a total of ONE time and I cannot bring myself to watch it again.  It's like they said, "Let's take all the redeeming qualities from this book and throw them out the window."  I felt like I was watching two hours of Kristin Stewart biting her lip.  I've seen Robert Pattinson in other movies, and I know he can act.  Kristin Stewart, well, not so much.  I kept waiting for the movie to develop the characters.  I kept waiting for the bond to develop that turns Bella into an Edwardcentric shell.  It never happened. 

Then New Moon came out.  Remember, that I love New Moon.  The previews were pretty awesome and I thought, okay, I'll bite.  I even bought the movie because I was sure I would love it as much as the book. 

*facepalm*

I love New Moon because of the relationship Jacob and Bella have.  I love New Moon because it's slightly less "Oh, Edward."  But again, the movie lacked any depth.  I realize it's hard to put a 500 page book into a two hour movie, but it really seemed like they cut out the best parts.  Even the screenwriter, Melissa Rosenberg, claims that the series isn't exactly high art.  Thank goodness Taylor Lautner is hot, or I'd be out $20.  Hell, even Robert Pattinson said he's bored of the saga. 

So I was pretty much over the movies by the time the 50 billion trailers and clips of Eclipse were released.  Just the fact that Eclipse is probably the most boring book in the series and that the trailers are centered around Riley, who's in the book for all of three pages, put the proverbial final nail in the coffin.  Maybe I'll pay the $1 for the redbox rental in a couple of months, but I doubt it.

I realize that the Twilight franchise doesn't care.  There are enough vampire wannabes out there to make Summit rich. 

I also realize that I'm not the target demographic for Twilight.  I'm not all "Oh, Edward" and I don't desire to be Bella and have a sparkly vampire save me.  Interestingly, the facebook status updates that are constantly blabbering on about Eclipse are from friends who are over the age of 40 or under the age of 21.  I think I was lucky enough to be raised with a generation that was taught you don't need a man (or vampire) to save you from your life.  Or maybe it's because I'm happily married and have no reason to imagine myself giving birth to a vampire spawn.

Or maybe it's because I watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer and realize it's been done before, much better.

Angel will always be better than Edward if for no other reason than he doesn't sparkle.

Also people, please don't name your kid Bella, Edward, or Cullen.  Seriously, Cullen is the fastest growing baby name of 2009.  Twilight is a fad that will fade like NKOTB (look it up, young'uns) and your kid will NOT appreciate it in 20 years.

Photo source:  http://img511.imageshack.us/i/buffy133yq2.jpg/

How Do You Raise More Than One Kid?

Kaelin was an only child for a long time.  After she was born, our family was complete.  We knew we didn't want or need any more kids. 

But life happens and several years later, Jason and I started talking babies.  If?  When?  How many?

Harper was born when Kaelin was 8 1/2 years old.  She loves her little sister and she's a great big sister.  Honestly, I really can't imagine trying to raise another baby without her help.  But things are different now.  I'm older.  I have so much more patience with Harper than I did with Kaelin.  Kaelin had colic.  She would scream for something around 20 hours a day.  When her dad came home, he turned on the Playstation and asked me why I couldn't shut the baby up.  After all, he'd been at work all day. 

I only breastfed Kaelin for 6 weeks and never exclusively.  We didn't cloth diaper.  I didn't feed her homemade baby food.  I had no problem sticking her in front of the tv when she was being too bothersome.  I stuck her in daycare and went back to school without a second thought. 

Harper's experienced the opposite of everything.  She's exclusively breastfed and cloth diapered.  I bought a food processor and have books about making your own purees.  The only tv she watches is when Kaelin or I watch tv.  I'm still not sure if I'll ever go back to work, but I hate the thought of not being with Harper all day.

Do I love Harper more than I love Kaelin?  Of course not.  Do I feel that Harper's gotten a lot more attention than Kaelin did, even as an only child?  Maybe. 

A four month old takes a lot more work than an almost nine year old.  I have to give Harper a bath while Kaelin can take an unsupervised shower.  I have to nurse Harper while Kaelin can pour her own cereal.  Kaelin's content to read quitely in her room while I have to play with Harps.  I try to do special things with Kaelin like let her run errands with me while Jason takes the baby, but she's not really interested.  She doesn't want to watch movies with me and rarely curls up with me in bed.  It doesn't seem that Kaelin feels the same way I do; she's already in negotiations for another sibling (as long as it's a girl).  Yet she tells my parents that she never gets to spend time with me.  Am I missing something?

Wow, I'm completely rambling now.

Would I feel differently if Kaelin and Harper were closer in age?  Or does it not matter how old they are -- I'll always worry that I'm treating them differently?  Does this get easier with more kids?  Harder?  Am I going to have to pay huge therapy bills? 

This is Why I'm a Mom

Baby Butt Woes

Before Harps was born, we decided to cloth diaper -- we didn't want chemicals sitting on her skin 23 hours a day.  But when we came home from the hospital, we were overwhelmed.  There are so many different styles and brands of cloth diapers.  We poured over the internet, but we still didn't know what we should buy. 

So for the first few weeks of her life, we used disposable diapers.  We splurged and bought the most expensive Huggies organic cotton diapers thinking that they'd be the friendliest to her sensitive little butt.  Her bottom got red.  We switched and tried Pampers Dry Max.  Her bottom looked like we had sat her in lye.  (Check out this other Pampers test.)  Since the most expensive disposable diapers we could buy were bothering Harper's butt, we tried Luvs.  Her bottom would be perfect, then within 10 minutes of having a diaper on, it would be red.

We broke down and bought cloth diapers.  We decided on prefolds and a mix of Thirsties and Bummis covers.

And we loved them.

Seriously, have you ever seen a cuter little butt?

Harper's butt was perfect.  The cloth diapers were so much cuter (and cheaper) than disposables.  They take all of 5 extra minutes a week to wash and haven't made any impact on our water or electric bills.  For three months, we went about our business and Harper's rear was as cute as ever.

Until this month.  Harper had a rash, and not just a my-butt's-red-from-the-diaper-rash.  We followed all the advice google could offer.  Harper started spending hours naked so her butt could air out.  I washed her diapers with superhot water.  We slathered her little bum with ointments, but it made no difference.  We put her back into the absolutely cheapest disposables we could find so we wouldn't ruin her cloth diapers with Desitin.

Harper's rash before treatment.

We finally took her to the doctor's and we were informed it was a yeast rash and given an antifungal.  She said she hadn't seen a baby in the last two weeks without a yeast rash just because it was so hot and humid.  She assured us that we were doing nothing wrong and that after a couple days with the medicine, Harper's butt would be as good as new. 

I went back to the internet and looked up all I could about cloth diapers and yeast.  The consensus was that I would have to boil the diapers then rinse them with vinegar so any yeast would be killed.  Obviously, I didn't want to reinfect her while we were trying to get rid of her rash.  We continued to use the $4/pack diapers while I sanitized every cloth diaper we had.  After a few days, her rash went away.  We happily put her newly cleaned cloth diapers back on her.  But two days later, the rash is back.

Harper's rash as of last night.

I don't know if it's because of the cloth diapers or because we spent the day outside in the heat and humidity. 

I really hope it's not the cloth diapers.  I love cloth diapering.  I could try to reboil/rewash all of her diapers and wipes and see if that helps, but I don't know what boiling them a second time will do if it didn't help the first time.  She's never had a problem with the cloth before.  I don't know why she would be sensitive to it now.  She was back in cloth a couple days before the rash reappeared.  Could it be that her diapers are fine, but what remained of her rash flared back up as soon as her butt hit the humidity? 

Do you guys have any tips for a yeast diaper rash?  How do you wash your diapers?

Cora's Story

I just found a new blog and I really can't stop reading.  It's about a newborn who passed away from a congenital heart defect and how her mom is trying to raise awareness.  I'm not going to say much else about it because it speaks for itself.  Just make sure to have a box of tissues handy.